


Hospital Gowns and 4 AM Conversations

by anditsgonnabetotallyawesome



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Human AU, Human!Castiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anditsgonnabetotallyawesome/pseuds/anditsgonnabetotallyawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel Novak found himself stuck in a hospital bed with wavering senses, he never expected to meet someone so incredibly interesting as Dean Winchester, the intriguing roommate with the destroyed leg.  Average human being AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't generally do AUs, but when I saw [this post on tumblr](http://consulting-elf-of-tardis.tumblr.com/post/55343927528/bloodprinceryen-hieroglyphical-this-makes) I just had to do it. All credit for the inspiration behind this goes to consulting-elf-of-tardis for the original post and hieroglyphical for the massive tag headcannon. It's probably done somewhere out there, but I haven't read it if it has so, ehm, enjoy?
> 
> TW for TBI, homophobia, violence, hospitalization, self-hate, existentialism, humanity, and gayness.

Castiel had been in the same hospital bed for three days now. He was a quiet patient, calm and peaceful, he didn’t bother anyone, didn’t make a big deal of taking the medications he was given and always ate as he was asked. He never complained aloud to the bright nurses he needed to help him to the bathroom when there was no one there visiting because this was his fault anyways.

But he never looked entirely happy, those blue eyes always seemed clouded with a harrowing sadness that didn’t seem able to dissipate with every nurse’s careful attempts to make him smile and his brother’s constant harassment. He was well behaved and polite, even amiable when he had the chance, which made many of the young nurses sweet on him.

This time, one who had visited before moved in with the tray of breakfast, giving him a small smile, “How are we doing this morning, Castiel?” she moved to check his vital signs on the machine connected to his fingertip.

“Very tired. I can’t see very well,” he blinked, “It’s like that blurriness when you just wake up but when you just wake up but I’ve been awake for an hour now. Can’t read,” his fingers moved to the tray, taking a sip of the water as he looked up at her, “And I don’t remember your name.”

“It’s Rachel,” she pointed to the whiteboard by the door, “When your sight comes back, it’s on the board. And it will, do you remember two days ago? The blurry eyesight was gone in three hours, so don’t worry. I’ll just write this down on your chart, are there any other symptoms? How’s the bruising?”

He lifted his hands, showing the shallow scratches, “Healing well,” and shifted the hospital gown to show the bandages on his collarbone, “And I didn’t pull off the bandages there last night. My knees are still sore and my ankle hurts, about a four. I’m better than yesterday,” he grinned.

When he was moved out of ICU when he was no longer in a critical condition, he’d been shunted into a general care unit where the nurses took longer shifts and he made friends with them before they were rotated away. In those times, he would always tell them that he was better than the previous day or the previous check because it wasn’t particularly good but at least it was better than before. 

“You’re going to have a roommate coming in later this morning, think his name is Dean but I only just glanced at his file,” Rachel clipped the board back down at the end of his bed and went to leave, “Make sure you eat as much of that as you can, you need it to build up your strength,” she said and Castiel was alone again, considering the possibility of a roommate. Sharing the room. It wasn’t as if he moved around it much, he was still very dizzy when he stood up.

He was using his fork to paw through the rubbery eggs when there was a soft knock on the door and a tall man with blond hair and dark eyeliner and tight pants stepped inside, speaking with a deep, masculine voice, “Castiel Novak?”

Castiel sighed heavily and set down his fork, “Let me guess. Male stripper, sent by Gabriel Novak with specific instructions to find me and do exactly as I asked exactly as I asked for a significant sum of money?”

The man nodded, “You can call me Dirk, love,” he gave a sultry grin and stepped towards him, “What can I do for you today?” Dirk tilted his chin down, eyes scraping sensually -down Castiel’s body.

Pushing the table over to the side of his bed, Castiel motioned for him to come to the side, “Here, take my hand. Carefully, please.”

Dirk’s eyes widened as he did his bidding, standing beside and taking Castiel’s scratched hand in his own large one, “You do not have permission to hurt me, and if you wish to engage in penetrative sex, there must be a condom involved,” he cleared his throat and looked into the man on the bed’s bright blue gaze.

Rolling his eyes, Castiel leaned on his hand, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning on his shoulder, “Help me to the bathroom and back, Dirk, and then you’re welcome to go. My brother is…difficult when it comes to my situation. You’ll still be paid.”

“Just to the bathroom?” Dirk raised an eyebrow and easily wrapped an arm around Castiel’s waist, supporting him as Castiel let out a hiss of breath.

“Yes, move your arm a bit lower if you could, I’ve got several broken ribs and that hurts quite a bit,” he moved slowly to the bathroom, leaning more heavily on his left foot. 

Dirk walked wordlessly beside him, opening the door carefully and pausing, “Should I go in with you? S’not like I haven’t seen worse on basically a daily basis.”

“If you don’t mind. It’s very,” he paused, searching for the word, “Very,” he swallowed, throat catching as he searched for the word, “Never—nevermind. Just keep your arm there and I’ll be fine,” Castiel moved to undo his pants, using the toilet without looking back at the man holding him up.

“Don’t worry about it, Castiel. When I get you back to your bed, I’ll tell you about the guy who paid me for four hours and sat staring at my feet the entire time,” Dirk grinned as he tightened his arm carefully, not wanting to hurt him but not wanting him to fall either.

As Castiel tucked himself back in, he kept his head down, trying not to let the redness flushing his ears and the back of his neck, “You don’t need to do that, but it would be quite nice to have a bit of company. I don’t get many visitors.” 

“Gabriel bought me out for the whole morning, I don’t have anywhere else to be,” he smiled as he carefully helped Castiel walk back to the hard hospital bed, “And I think I would like to talk to you a bit.”

He was about to respond when the wave of dizziness swept through him and Castiel swayed heavily, nearly falling forward as Dirk wrapped his arms around him, holding him up with gentle hands.

“Thank you,” Castiel whispered as he slid back under the thin blanket, moving his tray back over and picking up the fork, “Why don’t you stay for, say an hour, and then you’re free to go? I can’t really focus much longer than that,” he sighed and took a bite of eggs.

“If that’s what you’d like, I’m happy to oblige. So I walk into this office, and there’s this super tall guy and he’s completely buff, like the most completely people might somehow realize I’m gay so I have to butch myself out kind of guy, you’ve got to have seen some of them and he points to the chair, tells me I’ve got to take off my socks and shoes and put my feet on his desk. I swear to god it took me five minutes before I realized he was dead serious and hopped to it,” Dirk grinned as Castiel chuckled.

“Did he even touch them?” 

“Nope. Just stared. Walked around a few times, staring at them, sniffed them once or twice and then sat back down and stared at them some more. For four freaking hours!”  
“That is insane. Is that the weirdest person you’ve ever had?” 

“In actions, yes. In what they looked like, no. In what they said when they orgasmed, definitely not. I swear to god, people spend hours coming up with different things to shout,” he shook his head, laughing at the memories.

Castiel grinned, “My last boyfriend used to try to get me into bed by quoting cheesy lines he must have gotten from pornos at me. Didn’t work too well, he got frustrated and left eventually, but not before I got a good idea of what not to say to get someone to have sex with you.

“One time, this guy was this total nerd, like you think you know a nerd, I bet this guy was ten times worse. He made me wear a Darth Vader costume while he put on a storm trooper outfit to do it. Don’t even ask me how that worked, I swear to god, people are insane.”

“I must say, I must say, I agree, Darth,” he winked, taking another bite of the poorly made eggs, “These are disgusting, I swear they make them bad specifically.”

“My sister always complains about how bad it is, and she’s in one of the nicest units in a hospital a few hours away.

“Is she—“

“Cancer. Yeah, she’s pretty well on her way, but somehow she’s hanging on by a loose thread. Sort of why I,” he cleared his throat, “Do this. Pays well. Not well enough, but about as good as a high school dropout can make. ‘S all I can do for her because our parents don’t have enough either.”

“I’m so sorry, that’s horrible. I wish there was something I could do, I could do, I mean, I know I’d do anything for my sister if she were in that position.”

Dirk shrugged, “It’s life, there are ups and downs but we’ve got to get through them. What’s got you all beaten up like this?”

“Um,” Castiel looked down for a long moment, “Two of my older brothers came back to visit with their wives and they caught me sleeping next to a guy. Naked. And they’re really traditionalist Catholic. Didn’t really like that. And they decided to try to beat it out of me out of me.”

“Oh my god, Castiel, that is horrible,” he gasped, his hand going to his mouth as Castiel cut him off.

“Don’t. It’s life, right? Just shows me how they feel about it. It’s hard to remember that there are such horrible people out there when you’re accepted most of the time. I mean, I know it’s still pretty horrible for a lot of people but when it comes to day-to-day stuff, people mostly are cool with it if you don’t shove it down their throats. No…pun intended.”  
“So, three brothers and a sister, how many siblings do you actually have?” he said, trying to change the subject.

“There’s Anael, Naomi, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Michael, Lucifer and Balthazar that are all under twenty-five and then four even older brothers and six sisters. My parents really liked to adopt because they think that’s doing the Lord’s work even though they’re about eighty years old and have literally seen two generations of kids. They’ve been adopting since they got married at eighteen because my mom can’t have kids.”

“Wow, that is a lot of kids. Must have been crazy Sunday dinners,” he raised his eyebrows, “I don’t think I’d even be able to keep track.”

Castiel grinned, “Yeah, well, notice I didn’t actually name the older ones. It was Raphael and Uriel who attacked me. Gabriel, Anael and Naomi are all on my side, and Lucifer says he is but I’m pretty sure he’s lying. Balthazar isn’t often home, but when he is, he’s there for me. Usually.”

“That is some crazy shit, boy,” he shook his head, “Damn, that’s eighteen freaking kids.”

“Yes, yes,” he yawned, stretching his shoulders backwards with a grimace, “Look, this has been quite nice, but I’m very tired. Would you mind?”

“No, no that’s fine. It’s been an absolute pleasure, Castiel. Good luck,” Dirk said as he gave a soft smile, standing slowly, “Do you need anything else?”

He shook his head, “Thank you for talking to me. Good luck with your sister, she’ll be in my prayers.”

“Of course,” Dirk tipped his head and seemed to disappear through the door as Castiel shut his eyes, wincing. 

Reaching for his phone, he pressed the four button in to automatically dial Gabriel, listening intently to the monotonous ringing in his left ear until Gabriel’s familiar voice picked up.

“I swear, Gabriel, do not send any more freaking prostitutes. I can’t walk, let alone have sex!” his voice was louder than usual, he was so intent on speaking clearly that he didn’t even notice the door being opened until the large bed was being moved inside with a man sitting up on it.

“Come on, Cassy, you know you like to look,” Gabriel’s voice played back at him as his attention focused on the new roommate, eyes going wide.

“No! No more, I don’t need or want them. And now I’ve got a roommate who surely doesn’t need to look at prostitutes. Don’t waste your money,” he sighed heavily.

“I’ll just say sure for now because I’ve got to dash. Try to enjoy it, Cassy!” Gabriel hung up the phone as Castiel frowned in anger, tossing the phone onto the table and glancing over at the boy on the other bed. Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: Okay, so Dean was in the hospital already for a little over three weeks, in which time he had a surgery to put a rod in his leg so the bones could heal because it was pretty badly shattered. He has a removable splint that keeps his leg immobile but is removable because the spots where they went in to stabilize the leg are still healing. They’re still weaning him off of the powerful pain medications, so at times he will be very loopy-seeming.

Dean turned his head to look over at Castiel as he hung up the phone with Gabriel, a small smile forming on Dean's face, “Wouldn’t mind one or two myself,” he winked and used his good hand to push himself up on the bed a bit.

Castiel flushed red and looked at the phone in his hand, “My brother my brother has an interesting taste in prostitutes. I’m, uh, Castiel.”

“Dean. Dean Winchester. I got in a pretty bad car accident a few weeks ago and they’ve been stickin’ me with things and moving me all around this place since,” he gestured the splinted limb, “My baby shattered my leg pretty bad.”

He looked over at his new roommate, but the blurriness in his sight was still bad enough that he couldn’t make out Dean’s features, so he decided to try to maintain polite conversation, “Is the car completely destroyed then?” 

“Sammy said it wasn’t too bad, but he was probably lying to me,” Dean frowned, “He’s my baby brother.”

“Do you have many siblings?”

“No, it’s just me and him. You?”

“Seventeen, seventeen. But they’re all adopted, so I don’t know if you’d consider them my actual siblings.”

“Seventeen? Jesus, Cas, that must be absolutely insane. How do you even keep them all straight?”

“Well, most of them have moved out by now, and I’m only really close to a few of them. I’m one of the youngest ones at twenty-four. And my name’s Castiel.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Dean shifted slightly on the hard bed, eyes scanning over Castiel’s form with narrowed eyes, “Is me calling you Cas a problem?”

Castiel swallowed, embarrassed by his uncertainty as his eyes stayed focused on the ceiling, it wasn’t as if he could see well anyways, “No, I suppose not,” silence falls for a long moment, and the uncomfortable air between them is almost tangible.

“Soo…what did you do to get stuck here?” he gave a soft smile, trying to keep things light. If he had to spend the next week or so stuck in this hospital, it would do well for him to at least do it civilly with his roommate.

“I got mugged. They were really aggressive,” Castiel said quickly, shifting in his bed, “D’you mind if I take a nap instead of talking? My head hurts ‘cause my sight’s all messed up this morning.”

“Well I’m not going to stop you,” he reached over to his side table to pick up a book and acted as though he were reading as Castiel closed his eyes, taking long breaths.  
He wasn’t really sleeping though, Castiel’s mind was totally intact to his own ears as he began to ponder the circumstances, Dean. _He seems very simple. I’ve got a feeling that this whole roommate situation is just going to end up being sharing the room, and not so much being friendly. I wonder if his brother’s any nicer, because he seems rather annoying. Who calls their car baby? Well, I know who, but that’s just weird, I mean really. I bet he was texting and driving. He’s probably some hot-shot tattoo artist who runs a sex shop in his free time. I wish I’d gotten someone more…relatable. I suppose he’ll at least be interesting. Maybe it’ll open my mind a bit more. Might be more company than Gabriel’s prostitutes, although I wonder what his reaction would be if he realized that the prostitutes were guys. Interesting. If he works in a sex shop, I am quite sure he’s met gay people before. Meeting them doesn’t mean liking them, though, sales are sales. He’s probably—this is not right. I barely know him. Maybe it’s worth more to get to know him than to just lay here considering everything he could be._

“What’s up?” Dean asks, raising an eyebrow and setting aside his book, because he definitely was reading and not looking at Castiel and considering him too.

Taken by surprise, the other man shifts uncomfortably, “Uh, nothing. What do you do for a living?” 

“I’m in quality control, I work for a meat processing and handling company and I travel around, making sure all the machinery in the plants in this region are properly under control so our customers get the best goods.”

“Really? That must be really interesting. What happens if there’s something wrong?”

“Then I’d write out a report and put in a recommendation for a mechanic to come in and deal with the parts that don’t work properly.”

“Are there often problems?”

“Generally the machines just need a bit of extra grease, or some pressurization, but often there’s one that needs a new part or one of the parts isn’t moving right,” Dean shrugged, shifting up to a sitting position, “What do you do?”

“I’m a therapist. And I volunteer for volunteer for a program that maintains a suicide helpline when I have time.”

“So it must be pretty hard to take off work, huh? Do you work for a,” he paused, thinking about the proper word, “Like a firm?”

“No, I work privately, but I’ve got a few colleagues who have been taking care of them. And the program is volunteer work, so they can’t exactly protest my being stuck here, and in my condition…probably not for the best.”

“Right, that’s cool. So you do work with…kids? Teenagers? Adults?”

“All of the above. I prefer to work with teenagers and adults, but I’m quite willing to work with kids. I always say there’s nothing I haven’t seen, and then I see something new.”

Dean sighed heavily, pushing a hand through his hair with a long breath, “I hate being away from work. At least there I’ve got something to keep my hands busy. Here, I feel utterly useless. Like a freaking sack of bones that aren’t even made right.”

“I must say I agree with you. I love my work very much, not being able to do it, to do it is driving me utterly insane. I want to be home, helping people.”

“Dude, I get it,” he shook his head, “I think the worst part of going home is gonna be seeing my baby all wrecked up. It’s going to take a lot to fix her; I don’t know how long it will be before I can really start putting money into her.”

“I know it’s not exactly the same, but I’d be totally going nuts if something happened to my computer. I’ve got stuff backed up, but I’ve had that old thing for so long…I can sort of get where you’re coming from,” Castiel frowned, turning to see Dean’s blurry form with a sort of compassionate smile.

“That’s life, I guess. I’ll fix her up when I get out. What do you like to do in your free time? When you’re not counseling?”

“I write, sometimes. I don’t really get very much free time, to be honest.”

“You write? That’s way cool. I’ve always wanted to write, I’ve had so many crazy ideas but I can’t ever get them sounding quite right.”

“You’ll have to tell me about them sometime,” he yawned, blinking heavily, “I’m sure they’re as interesting as you seem to be.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has writer's block and Dean can't sleep. They talk. I'm great at summaries.

It was eleven at night and Dean was fidgeting because he wasn’t going to get a dose of morphine tonight and Castiel was feeling absolutely awake because he’d taken a long nap after their conversation and after waking up had found his sight to be returned. He currently had a notepad on his lap and his pen poised in the air as he considered what to write about next, and was furtively shooting Dean annoyed looks due to the distracting rustling noises emanating from his side of the room.

“Could you lay still for maybe five minutes? You’d probably end up end up asleep faster than with major pain medication,” Castiel sighed, putting the pen between his teeth as he kicked his blankets back over his feet.

Annoyed, Dean sat up in his bed, crossing his arms, “Maybe if you turned off the goddamn light it wouldn’t be so hard to fall asleep!” They’d only been sharing a room for a day and already it felt like they were butting heads.

He flipped the pen around his fingertips as he considered for a moment, “Look, Dean, I can’t make them knock you out—“

“I know, so let’s not make it harder for me to sleep, huh?” his voice was soft but his face was contorted angrily as he regarded his roommate across the room.

Taking a steadying breath, Cas set down the pen and put his chin on his right hand, bright eyes boring into Dean’s form, “What good does arguing with me with me do?”

“I don’t know—“ he frowned, “It doesn’t matter. Turn off your light so I can go to bed, please.” Dean emphasized the last word as if it were a big deal for him to actually say ‘please’ and Castiel was only slightly appalled by his manners.

“What happens if I turn off the light? Do you get your pain meds? Do you get to sleep quick?” Castiel tilts his head, waiting for a reply as Dean falls silent for a long moment.

“Whatever,” Dean slid himself back down the bed to lie down, body flat but face turned away in defiance as he gave a huff and attempted to stay still enough to fall asleep.

It wasn’t working very well. 

Between the frenzied scratching of Castiel’s pen on the paper and the periodic sighs and pen taps and the pounding in his head, there was no way Dean was going to actually fall asleep. He was about ready to jump out of the bed and rip the paper into pieces and tell the nurses to go to hell, if only there wasn’t an enormous throbbing pain in his leg.

“Fucking hell,” Castiel growled, throwing the notebook across the room to hear the hearty thud as it fell against the wall and flipped down.

Dean began to give some smarting remark about Castiel’s ability to write, or that at least now there might be some quiet, but the lamp by Cas’s bedside kept the man alight and showed his head in his hand and the frustrated clench of his fist.

“Cas—“ Dean began and paused, biting gently on his bottom lip, “Look, I don’t know much about writing—“ Castiel began to interrupt, “Shut up, I’m being wise. I don’t know much about writing, but, I do know that telling me what you’re trying to write might help.”

Castiel snorted and sighed, “Fine. Try to keep try to keep up, wise guy,” he began slowly, trying to keep a monotonous annoyed tone, but unable to keep the excitement from leaking in bit by bit, “So there’s the main character, her name is Meg. She’s totally crazy, but in all the right ways. She thinks that there’s these,” he pauses, “Angels. Who watch over us. And each one of us has our own angel, but she thinks she can see hers and she’s fallen in love with…them.”

“Angels? Like big fluffy wings and halos? That kind of angels?” 

“No, they’re far more majestic than that. These angels, they’re really special because they can take a human form, but they only are allowed to take ones that are dying, so a lot of them have these disgusting elderly forms.”

“Gross. So Meg’s falling in love with an angel that looks like a disgusting old dude?” he sits forward on the bed, shifting around carefully in order to see Castiel better.

He shakes his head, “Ah, no. See, she thinks Iara is her guardian angel, and Iara took the form of her best friend, who committed suicide a few years before the book began.”

“So they’re not real. The angels. She’s totally delusional because losing her best friend royally screwed her up,” Dean actually looks incredulous.

Castiel grins, his smile lighting up his whole face, “Well that’s what everyone around her thinks, that she’s totally insane. They actually end up locking her in a hospital, where she goes selectively mute and that makes everyone think they completely messed up so they take her out and send her home.”

Sitting forward, Dean’s eyes are alight as well, taking in Cas’ brightness and feeling the energy pouring from his side of the room, “Well, are they real or not?” 

“You never find out—“

“What? Are you serious? But, that’s not fair! You’ve got to tell me—them!”

“Nope. I’m quite well known for leaving my books with questions hanging. Part of what makes people want to read more of what I’ve written. They think I’m going to answer the questions.”

“That’s it. I’ve decided—you’re a terrible person. They’ve housed me with an absolute maniac. I’m getting transferred in the morning!” Dean grins teasingly, “Seriously, though?”

“Oh yeah, it’s quite fun. None of my readers like me, but they like what I write and that’s what’s worth it.”

“So, Iara and Meg, huh? Did they have a thing going before Iara ganked herself?” 

“Nope. Danni was totally and completely straight. That’s part of why Meg thinks that Iara’s not actually Danni, because Danni would never dream of kissing her.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I am confused. Iara—Danni, the angel one, is a girl? And Meg’s a girl? Meg’s gay?”

“Um, yes,” Castiel clears his throat, turning his eyes down to his hands, “I like I like to write ordinary people with different sexualities. Meg likes both likes both men and women, but romantically she prefers women.”

“Okay,” Dean shrugged, “That’s cool with me. There’s not anywhere near enough good books out there with those kinds of characters.”

He’s quiet for a long moment as he regards Dean, with his cool green eyes and his warm expression and his careful smile, “You’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Sexuality is just a part of being human. Doesn’t exactly change a person, right? And hell, more gay guys there are, more people for me,” he winks at Cas, who is utterly taken aback.

“I don’t know, you just seem kind of…” he trailed off, searching for some kind of term to categorize Dean.

“Stereotypes are shit, you know. Anybody can be cool with sexuality issues, whether they’re buff or tiny. My brother’s a friggin’ tank and he’s cool with all of it.”

“Right, of course,” he smiled lightly, “I guess I just expect people to automatically be narrow-minded. Kind of my nature by now.”

“What do you mean? Most people I’ve met are awesome about people being gay or whatever.”

“I don’t really don’t really want to talk about this right now,” Castiel blurted out quickly, “Thanks for listening to me. Goodnight.”

Dean looked surprised by Castiel’s abruptness and shifted back down under the thin sheets, “Goodnight, I guess.”

Castiel’s only response was to click out the light by his bedside and wiggle around a bit until he found a comfortable enough spot.


End file.
